The other day, circumstances being what they were, caused me to have one of those, “Michelle, where’ve you been?” So, after too many Faith Hill songs this evening and a few moments of careful reflection, I felt compelled to write a few notes to myself. Yes, it’s late, but the urgency with which I write thoroughly justifies everything at this point. I have for too long allowed certain individuals to treat me with considerable ambivalence, to have just “tolerated” their persistent offenses against me without so much as a complaint or whimper. Well, buddy, ya’ll, friend, this post’s for you.
To All It May Concern:
This is happily the end of the road. As Gladys sings, “I couldn’t cry if I wanted to/I’ve done had my fill of you”. I assure you that what you pass off as “pursuit” is not attractive nor nowhere near encouaging to anyone concerned. When you reflect on our time together (which I doubt you will) as you treated me as if I “was just passing through”, note that you never asked if you could pray for me, never opened up God’s Word, and never really offered me a sense of encouragement in keeping with anything resembling fellowship or Christian charity. It’s like you want all the benefits of marriage and companionship, yet don’t want to do the real work involved. Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, granted; however, in order to get a wife, a husband/boyfriend must show glimpses of that kind of love in courtship and in friendship. And friends, until you are a boyfriend, you’re just some guy given a blank slate and a short audience with a woman. It’s your time to shine, so..why so dull? Why so arrogant? Why so self-assured? Why so unloving?
Does this sound harsh? How could it? Never had a woman be so direct with you. Perhaps this is the first and last time for you, so I’d take out a notepad and a Sharpie to nibble on later. I’ll speak plainly and leave it there. Every woman has her “kiss of death” statements. Say them gentlemen and next thing you know, she is out of your life for good. Some have more than others, yet we all know what they are and we will never tell you what they are, so it’s best just to treat every woman with a modicum of respect and gentleness because you never know which one may be “the one”.
To the men that joke inappropriately, who use sarcasm, are generally sardonic at times you should all be ashamed of yourself, but the sad part is that you never will. You will continue to surround yourself in the delusion that I am the one who “lacks a sense of humor”, but that is not the case at all. In your profound immaturity, you tear down with your words and there is nothing Christian in that. Until you get that worked out, please do not speak to me. I have no room for that type of baffoonery in my life.
To the men who have demonstrated a tremendous amount of inconsideration in not returning calls, e-mails, IM’s, text messages, et al. in a timely fashion or “acknowledgement receipt” e-mails, this is unacceptable beyond belief. What you are telling me is “I’m not interested in you, your friendship, but keep the e-mails coming because I love to receive attention”. I am hurt by you and generally devastated by a sensibility so unlike mine on this score.
Finally, to the men that put me on a pedestal, that grilled me like a contestant in a Beauty pageant or made me feel like I was being interviewed for the position of “wife” without getting to know “me”, Michelle. Shame on you. Do you treat all women this way? How successful have you been so far? You see right through me without really seeing me. There is nothing more devastating than not being known.
I am quite at my leisure now and feel that I can now move on to find and meet and adore a sensible, considerate, fun-loving man who knows how to treat me well.
